Lyrics of my life.

So I guess I don't really have an exact song standing out to me for this post. I just have a lot to say.
I'm about two weeks into 2012 and so much has happened to me. I began the year ice skating. HAPPY NEW YEAR! Then stuff just fell into my lap. First of all my manager at wet seal offered me a part time job. Meaning they were going to keep me after the "season". Of course I was so excited to be the only seasonal kept. Then not even 24 hours later my sister called me and asked me if I'd be interested in being a nanny for her sister-in-law. I apparently have a hard time saying no to people who need me. But I said yes. So I watched her kids on my days off from wet seal. I fell 100% in love with the kids. They are so well behaved and precious. After that week was over I was offered a full-time nanny job. We discussed the pay and me quitting at wet seal and I left the house that afternoon torn. I love my wet seal job. It's way fun. Plus I get a 40% off discount! I had a choice to make. (and if you know me well, I hate to make choices. Especially when it involves turning some one down). Having to tell some one no was making me frustrated. I talked about it to my mom, my sisters, my dad, and I even prayed about it. Quitting at wet seal was hard but I knew I had to because when I thought about the nanny job I just felt so at peace.
I knew what I had to do but I still was not gung-ho about it. So that Friday night I took my little sister to the Mesa Arizona temple ground's visitors center. I was really grumpy and almost didn't take her. While we were there waiting for my family to come out of their session in the temple, Emily and I walked around watching short clips and listening to gospel thoughts. The temple is mostly centered around having a family and I read the family proclamation to the world. I was over come by the spirit and just knew that life is a gift from God. I knew right then also that something was coming for me. I was talking with my mom on the next day about school. She was telling me how I need to take more classes and try harder and stuff. (such a good mommy) I just felt so confused. I don't know what I want to do. Dancing isn't really working and I just wasn't keen on the whole thing. I went home and just started looking at classes and then I thought how fun would it be to be a flight attendant...I googled it and was brought to this website...The Travel Academy.com. I looked through it and just decided this is what I want to do. So Sunday I prayed and fasted asking the lord if this would be a good path for me to be on. I received my answer that night. I talked to my parents. And Monday I enrolled. I am working full time to save for school. And I am so pumped to go to Minnesota in 8 short months.
I am so excited. This year has brought me and will continue to bring great things to pass. I am so happy to be alive. I know times will be hard sometimes but every moment is blessed. So that is why I have decided to make an awesome new years resolution. I am going to make like Anne Frank and write in my journal all the time. I am going to remember all my lovely moments, all my hard times. Heck maybe I'll even look back and realize they weren't that hard after all. My journal is called the lyrics of my life. It is actually a composer book. I began my journal on December 26, 2011. And it is going strong even today.
I love life. I love God. The savior Jesus Christ is my best frind and I'm so entirely and eternally grateful that he suffered and died for my sins that I could repent and live my life for him. I'm also great full for time and also that I can learn. I am so blessed. I have an amazing family and great friends. It is also my goal not to just have new years resolutions, it's got to be an everyday thing. You should feel like....,"HAPPY NEW DAY" everyday. I am so happy to be a daughter of God and I will live up to my potential. Happy new year everyone. Now Go get em!

I tried to post a picture of my sweet journal but I can't figure it out on my iPad.

Oh no. I've caught the fever.

It has happened. =( I caught beiber fever. I'm a little ashamed.I just think he is soooo friggin cute. GAH! What is my world coming to?!? well Merry Chistmas!

When Feelings Are Mutual

(sorry this blog is long over due)

     The infamous break up story. =)

   Yes we all know, it sucks to be dumped. You were "in love" and he/she just couldn't see it in you. You would've done "anything" for him/her and he/she just didn't care. You gave him/her everything you had to offer and it just wasn't enough. Now you're sad all the time. Every song on the radio seems to be about him/her. All the old pictures bring back your saddness. You know you've got to move on, but you're still not quite ready.
   Well this is not one of those stories. What about the stories where the feelings are mutual? Yes, I, THE CHELSEA BEA ;-) have been dumped. Yeah, I was sad for a couple of days. Not entirely because I lost the one I "loved". Not at all for that reason actually. I was upset that I lost the normalness between my friend and I. Now when I see him it wasn't the same. I feel like even when we were dating it was more of a friendship anyways. Now, that I am over the saddness things are back to normal. I can totally be around him and it's chill again.
   Sometimes things just play out perfectly. I really honestly hope he finds the one who compliments him. I hope all his dreams come true as does he for me. I am so much more happy with him as my friend rather than my boyfriend. I learned a lot through our relationship but I was ready to be done. I think we should get the most awesome break up ever award. When feelings are mutual life is just so splendid. I am now single and ready to mingle again. I deserve someone who will fall head over heals for me. Who will hear what I have to say and believe it. I'm going to be someone's significant other, not just thier accessory.
  Feelings were mutual even though he would probably tell you differently. I'm so happy to be independant again and I know that he and I were not ment to be. Life as a young single adult is so much fun and now that I have made more friends and have a job, I can take it by the horns. =)

Something Unpredictable

  This song has been on repeat in my car for about a week now.

  Truth. I love a song that is so full of truth. Life throws choices at us all the time. Not only that but things happen and all of a sudden we are at a place in life we never expected to be. Life is a test. Ive been thinking a lot about "fate" and choices. Also God. There are so many thoughts in my head I can not organize. Wether it be about school or my boyfriend Mike. Thoughts just roll around in my head and they can't be set into words but his song, explains it all. Life is unpredictable and all we can really do is choose what we know to be the best choice and see where time takes us.

  God has a plan for each one of us. He knows me individually and his plan for me is beautiful. I just have to listen for his inspiration and follow the coarse of life he has layed out for me. Life will be hard and things will happen that make me un happy but I know that God knows exactly how I feel and in time he will take that pain away. All I can do now is find joy daily. Look for beauty in simple things. This past weekend I went to a ballet and after it was over I was walking back to my car and a little girl in a tu-tu was walking on her tippy toes and stopped in mid-step and did a plea. =) It made my day.

     Life happens and we can't slow it down. So we must embrace it! Life is something unpredictable, but in the end it is right. I'm going to have the time of my life, and you should too.

Don't Stop Me Now.

     Life is going good. All is well and then a speed bump hits. Well Mr. Speed bump thats too bad cause I'm not stopping. I hope hitting you doesn't damage me. =)

Dumb Girlyness!

I Worry

I worry that he won't believe I like him.

I worry he'll think I'm weird.

I worry he thinks I text way too much.

I worry he won't feel the same.

I worry my family won't like him.

I worry I annoy him.

I worry it's too fast.

I worry he won't sit with me at church.

I worry he'll touch my legs when they're harry.

I worry he could easily go for anyone.

I worry his friends don't like me.

I worry that the sad song he plays is aimed at me.

I worry his parents hate me. 

I worry my palms are too sweaty.

I worry he's uncomfortable.

I worry we're not ready.

I worry I'm only 18 and I have yet to live.

I worry he won't like kissing me.

I worry a lot.

Then I see him smile and

I remember worrying is against MY religion.

Then I look in his eyes and

then I stop worrying.

  <3 Chelsea Bea

Vulnerable...Impossible.

So it happened. I actually fell in like. I hate this feeling because I have no idea if he likes me back.

      Vulnerable. I've never felt this vulnerable in my life. He caught my eye at church my first day there. Yeah he was cute and all but it was just a little crush. Then amazing happened. He sat next to me in church. I was doodling on a peice of paper. He asked me to draw him a picture. So I did. Kowing this was my shot, I wrote my number on the back. I also wrote, "You should probably ask me out seeing as I drew this for you." =) Normally I'm not this forward. I just flirt and mess around with a guy till I scare them off. Which is okay because honestly I haven't really truly liked someone like this since Markos. I normally beat around the bush or feel...unsure. (I like them, I don't like them, I like them, Maybe not so much). It's usually just a game.

           This feeling is so different. After I hung out with him it wasn't like a dream. I didn't feel all on "cloud nine" and magical. I felt like...something real.  The only problem is...I was not expecting this. I was not ready. I've been fine just fiddling around with love/like or whatever it is. But it has me this time. I'm so scared. There is a huge chance that I'll get hurt but for some reason I'm okay with that. I'm putting it all on line because if something ends up working, it's worth the risk. I'm scared. I am vulnerale.  I am in-like. 

Please if you haven't listened to the words of the song go back and do so. because they explain better than I can.