"Maybe you'd feel better if you screamed today"-Kimya Dawson

"And now there's a mountain goat
precariously balanced on the frog stuck in my throat
it says "sometimes whispering's okay,
but maybe you'd feel better if you screamed today"

Lately I've been so speechless. I don't really feel like I have anything profound to say. I'm not usually like this. I guess it's kind of like a grey funk my English teacher was talking to us about. I feel sort of like I'm just here. There's not really thoughts going through my mind or feelings in my heart. When I try to post something on Facebook, there is nothing. I feel like I want to talk to someone yet I have nothing to talk about. My texts which are usually fun and clever have turned into one word responses. At the same time there's the part of me that just wants to get out of this funk. I want the lump in my throat to go away, the wall in my brain to crumble. I think it's times like this that you just need to scream.

I think sometimes we get too stressed. Sometimes we hold stuff in for too long. Sometimes we feel like we have to whisper. So I encourage you to take the goats advice go somewhere and just scream. I think you'll feel better.

Here this guy seems pretty good at it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y60NAa996SI&feature=related

"I'm sorry for you"- Nellie McKay

"I'm sorry for the mess
The stupid way I'm dressed
I guess I failed my test
Oh don't you know I'm sorry for my views
I musta been confused
And yet you know that really I'm sorry for you"


"I'm sorry for the time
The stupid way I rhyme
I knew I shoulda chose a life of crime
I'm sorry for my blues
I know it's all old news
And yet you know that really I'm sorry for you"


I found this artist while I was just looking around on youtube. I came across this song and it really made me think. How often do we say sorry when we don't mean it?

I want to make it a goal to say sorry only when I mean it. In this song Nellie is really showing how she's not sorry by saying sorry. I don't think she is sorry for those things. This is how I relate to this song. Sorry is such a clishe. Offen times people just say sorry for things because they don't want to put up a fight or offend people.  I think sorry is something you show not something you say. I think I'm good at showing when I'm genuinely sorry. On the other hand I'm also pretty good at showing when I'm not. I'm not saying that I go and shove it in people's face that I ment to offend them and I don't purposely try to. I guess what I'm saying is I'm really a blunt person and speak my mind. I usually try to be nice about it, but I just have a loud personality.

I'm not sorry for the mess, the stupid way I dress, I don't care if I fail  your test. I'm not sorry for my views, I'm really not confused, and you should know that really I'm sorry for you. I'm sorry for those people who don't live out loud. I think Nellie is just telling everyone to be them selves and stop being sorry for who you are, which I think I'm good at.

click to watch her video and hear the whole song http://www.lyrics.com/sari-lyrics-nellie-mckay.html

"Life inside the music box aint easy"-Regina Spektor

 I figured I would start with the title of my blog. The real world can bring a person down. One needs a place to escape and be themselves. For me, I naturally tend to live in my alternate world. The world of Chelsea Bea is a music box. I live inside a world where music is all I hear. When I hear people talk I automatically have a song playing in my head. When I hear a song, a person or experience comes back to me. As I fail to express myself easily through rhetoric, if you open my music box and you hear my melody it all becomes clear. Life inside my music box is not always easy however. I have songs about hurting, songs about trials, songs that break my heart, and songs I don’t understand why I sing. Sometimes I may be off pitch, or my melody might sk-kip, but no matter what the mallets hit, my gears are always turning. I know sometimes my melodies annoy people so I don’t mind if they close my lid. They should know I still hear it inside though. Like everyone else, I find certain melodies annoying. They often repeat and sometimes I find myself wanting to escape the mechanism. I see people living in worlds of art, worlds of sports, worlds of geniuses, worlds of technology, and worlds of words. There are many other worlds that I see and wonder about. Although it is sometimes tempting to climb out of my music box, if I had the choice I probably wouldn’t. In my music box I feel safe. Even though life inside my music box isn’t easy, I enjoy every moment. I enjoy the different melodies new people bring into my box and leave me with. I enjoy the things I gain from each song. I love hooking songs together, the lessons I learn from letting go of certain melodies, the different feeling each tune leaves. My music box is sometimes closed but anyone can open it. Anyone is welcome to visit and I hope eventually I will find someone to keep with me forever. A person who will be the melody I could never let go or forget. Maybe he will be a melody I’ve never heard before or maybe he’ll come with the melody I always listen to. Maybe he won’t even like music but he’ll love it because I do. Maybe he’ll make like Aladdin and show me “a whole new world”. But for now I will remain safely inside my music box, singing and dancing my days away. Life inside my music box aint easy, but I delight in every note!