Ball So Hard

     So I heard about an audition for a dance in the faculty showcase at chandler-gilbert community college, my first instinct was...no way I'm not good enough. Then my friend Cari told me to audition, "just do it. what's the worst that could happen? you could not get in the piece. no big deal." So I put my big girl panties on and just did it. Soon enough I received an email saying a got a part in the dance!! I was astonished and so beyond excited. So now I knew I was "good enough"
    I came into rehearsal the first day not entirely sure what to expect...lo and behold we were given this as our music. Now, I was slightly confused because we were doing a jazz piece, this is clearly  hip hop sounding song, but I was all in. As choreography rehearsals went on the piece developed...very interstingly (yes i'm aware that is not a word). The dance was about power. there was a mustache representing the power...one girl started with the mustache and she controlled me and the other girl in the dance. Then the girl next to me got up and stole the mustache. Eventually that girl realized she did not like the power and passed it on to me, sticking it on my back so then without knowing i became the one in charge and the power initially drove me crazy. by the end, the first girl stole the mustache back thus looping the story. It was a comedy piece. So that was the dance.
     Anyway, I just wanted to write about my experience. First of all, there is one dancer in particular at the school that I noticed was an extremely talented dancer during last semester's faculty show. Her name is Breanna. I was flattered to be in this number because she was also in the auditions and chosen to participate. I was happy to be working with the one person whom I admire in this dance program. That was the first excellent moment. The next perk about being in this dance came when the choreographer invited us to perform with her dance company in phoenix. It was a pleasure to be on a professional stage. However, after that performance, our choreographer changed the dance completely right before the faculty showcase, that was interesting seeing as we only had two practices before the show. =)
     The night of the performance came. I was super pumped about the performance, I had invited all my friends and my energy was just at an all time high. We took the stage and I did my very best. Feeling proud as I took my curtain call. I returned back stage to find a text from one of my friends. It explained how her boyfriend said he loved to watch "that girl with the black hair" (me) dance. Another great moment during tech week was when another choreographer of a beautiful modern piece told me how she would love to use me in one of her pieces. I was flattered and so happy. After the show the audience was aloud to come back stage and talk to the dancers...All my friends were there. They had even got me flowers!! Yellow roses, my favorite. Compliments were flying and I have almost never felt so blessed in my entire life. How blessed am I to have a body that can dance. How blessed am I to have friends willing to take time out of their lives to come see a 2 minute dance of me. How blessed am I to have this talent God so willingly gave me. How blessed am I to share a stage with such wonderful dancers. How blessed am I to have passion and joy for something so simple. How blessed I am!
     I have a new found confidence in my talent. I am a dancer. maybe I don't have the skill level of a lot of dancers my age but I do have the will and the passion. I will be great and I will never stop dancing. Confidence is key. I can not thank my friends and family enough for coming and cheering for me. Above all I can not thank God enough for every blessing in my life. And when it comes to performing, I ball so hard. =)
<3 Chelsea Bea

The Love He Freely Gives Me

Happy Easter...a day late. I sang this song in church and the spirit just reiterated to me how much Heavenly Father loves me. He loved me so much that he sent his only begotten son, my brother and best friend, Jesus Christ, who is sinless, to suffer unbearable pain, bleed and die for me, an imperfect sinner. And Christ loves me so much that he partook of the bitter cup. Because he died for me I have a chance to return to my heavenly king where he waits for me with open arms. I love my savior Jesus Christ and I know he lives.  

Me, Myself, and I

"I wanna talk about me 
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one
Oh my me my 
What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you you you you, usually, but occasionally 
I wanna talk about meeeeee (me,me,me,me-background singers)
I wanna talk about me (me,me-background singers)"

 

       So Tuesday I discovered...I talk about me way toooo often! Seriously, anytime some one says something about themselves I can always, ALWAYS link it back to me and have everyone's attention back on me. I was standing in a group of people and I had a story or song or at least something to say to redirect every single eye in my direction. So I made a goal that night to just shut up listen!!! The first few minutes I self-self-conciously continued to do it. So I dug down deep and closed my mouth. I don't know why, but it was so challenging. Finally I got myself to hush. I LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE! 

  Why are quiet people so much more interesting?!? I wish I could be that person, the person who is quiet but secretly hilarious or profound. I am no where near that. And I honestly don't think I can change into that...it's just not ME. but, I do fully appreciate those people in my life. And I should find quiet time more often. Also let others shine. Yeah life is a stage, but even the character's with one line are important. That one line could be the pivital moment in the  production and who am I to sing and dance over the top of them. it's time I learned about back stage. 

How to Choose?!?

Today is just one of those hat days. Ya know?

Kitty Kitty

  One fine day my friend borrowed my car. When she returned the window was down...permanently. I wasn't so bothered thinking oh it's fine its just stuck. it happens all the time. So I went outside and tried to roll it up, thus finding it really was stuck. The window being stuck still didn't entirely bother me. I mean, I live in the valley, it's not like it's gonna rain or anything. The next tuesday morning I was driving home, lo and behold, rain began to pour down into my window. I thought it was very ironic.

  So it'd been about a week or so that my window was stuck down. I had been parking in the garage so that nothing could get in my window. One night as I drove up to my house, my brother in-law was home. parked in the way. So I figured...no one would even want to still my car. No big deal I'll park outside. I grabbed all my valuables and went inside and to bed with out another thought of my car. The next morning I wasn't surprised as I came outside to my car still being there. I jumped in my car just as any other day. Humming and happy, ready for work. The windshield was foggy so I turned on my windshield wipers. It was then that I heard something shuffle in the back of my car. My heart dropped and I became super frightened! Of course my mind jumped to the worst scenario, I was positive there was a man hiding in the back just waiting to attack. I slowly cranked my head around to the back of my car when, POP! A bit, hideous, black stray cat popped up. I screeched!

    It's huge eyes as freaked out at me as I was at it. We sat with our eyes locked on each other for at least 20 seconds. The scroungy cat then leaped from the back of my car to the front seat right into my lap. Not knowing what to do, I freaked out like a little girl getting a nasty sock waved in her face, waving my hands as weird noises of disgust escaped my mouth. I somehow found my way out of my car and the cat bolted from me in a quick vanish.

  I got back in my car...then the embarrassment crept in. It was one of those moments when you know you're alone but you still have to look around to make sure no one saw. I drove to work laughing at myself, thinking this song. hahaha. Man I really need to get that window fixed.

Unsent..unsaid

  I don't know about you but there is a lot of things I have left Unsaid in my past. Wether it be relationships or just guys I like or that liked me. Sometimes it's not even those types of relationships. So today sometime before I go to bed I will write a letter. A letter that will remain unsent. Unsaid. Maybe to eventually be read or posted. Or not. So much that should've been said but now it is too late.

Dearest... ,
I'm sorry I never told you.
-Sincerely Chelsea Bea

An Anchor

I wanted to wait to post about this song because it makes me very emotional, and I can't even begin to explain why. I couldn't even understand in words why until...

This beautiful morning I was driving home from the Mesa Arizona LDS Temple. The sky grey and unfolding in front of me. Rain was poring in my open window. The road blackening as the water tumbled out of the sky and graced the road with it's presence. The sun rising creating a dim dusky light unvieling the beautiful brown of the dirt and green of the sparce trees. Rain like paint, falling out of the sky splashing the world with new radiant color. The smell drowning my nose with it's beautiful desert rain aroma. And this song, THIS SONG, flooding my ears. And it hit me,WHY? It doesn't matter.

Sometimes in life I ask why too often. Why am I so hyper, why am I so loud. Why do I feel sad, happy, angry, joyful? Why have I been so blessed. Why am I going through this. Why did they get cancer. Why not me? Why do I love to dance and sing? Why are girls/guys so hard to understand. Why does this song get me how it does?

well, IT DOESN'T MATTER! The beauty of life is sometime the indescribableness. It is what it is, why ask why. Life isn't always an algorithm. I want to begin today TAKING IT FOR WHAT IT IS. Life is gorgeous. Life is challenging. Life is a blast. Life is sad. Life is hilarious. Life is frustrating. Life is inspiring. Life is a dance. Life is a test. Life is what Life is. So find you some anchors and drop them in the bay. So you can just stop sailing and take life for what it is for even a moment.
Why? you may think...HEY the why doesn't always matter.