Sunday, January 30, 2011

"Life inside the music box aint easy"-Regina Spektor

 I figured I would start with the title of my blog. The real world can bring a person down. One needs a place to escape and be themselves. For me, I naturally tend to live in my alternate world. The world of Chelsea Bea is a music box. I live inside a world where music is all I hear. When I hear people talk I automatically have a song playing in my head. When I hear a song, a person or experience comes back to me. As I fail to express myself easily through rhetoric, if you open my music box and you hear my melody it all becomes clear. Life inside my music box is not always easy however. I have songs about hurting, songs about trials, songs that break my heart, and songs I don’t understand why I sing. Sometimes I may be off pitch, or my melody might sk-kip, but no matter what the mallets hit, my gears are always turning. I know sometimes my melodies annoy people so I don’t mind if they close my lid. They should know I still hear it inside though. Like everyone else, I find certain melodies annoying. They often repeat and sometimes I find myself wanting to escape the mechanism. I see people living in worlds of art, worlds of sports, worlds of geniuses, worlds of technology, and worlds of words. There are many other worlds that I see and wonder about. Although it is sometimes tempting to climb out of my music box, if I had the choice I probably wouldn’t. In my music box I feel safe. Even though life inside my music box isn’t easy, I enjoy every moment. I enjoy the different melodies new people bring into my box and leave me with. I enjoy the things I gain from each song. I love hooking songs together, the lessons I learn from letting go of certain melodies, the different feeling each tune leaves. My music box is sometimes closed but anyone can open it. Anyone is welcome to visit and I hope eventually I will find someone to keep with me forever. A person who will be the melody I could never let go or forget. Maybe he will be a melody I’ve never heard before or maybe he’ll come with the melody I always listen to. Maybe he won’t even like music but he’ll love it because I do. Maybe he’ll make like Aladdin and show me “a whole new world”. But for now I will remain safely inside my music box, singing and dancing my days away. Life inside my music box aint easy, but I delight in every note!